Sunday, July 18, 2010

A Single Word

Single. It's a word that many people dread with all of the loneliness, social exclusion, and strange looks that it brings.

Single: A word I never feared...until now.

The word used to mean opportunity, options, and most importantly adventure. The single person can do what they like without consulting a partner. Nothing holds you back except for yourself when you're single.

I should feel excited. I've had those moments before when all of the sudden it seemed like I had flown free of the cage that held me.

But I don't feel excited.

It's not really even missing the person that I was with that makes me feel empty; it's the idea.

I thought I was done.

No more searching, no more long lonely nights, no more dealing with that silly question, “Why aren't you married yet?”

The word was scratched out of my vocabulary; it's meaning lost in a library long forgotten with all the other crumbling books of my past. But now, it's time for me to go back and find it again...

...And I am afraid.

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